Aliens are attacking me!

Mr. Radivoje Lajic of Bosnia is causing a stir in academic circles. He claims that his house has been struck no less than five times by chunks of rock from outer space.

Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed that all the rocks Radivoje Lajic has handed over were meteorites.

They are now investigating local magnetic fields to try and work out what makes the property so attractive to the heavenly bodies.

But Mr Lajic, who has had a steel girder reinforced roof put on the house he owns in the northern village of Gornja Lamovite, has an alternative explanation.

He said: “I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don’t know what I have done to annoy them but there is no other explanation that makes sense.

“The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit five times has to be deliberate.”

The first meteorite fell on his house in November last year and since then a further four have smashed into his home.

The strikes always happen when it is raining heavily, never when there are clear skies.

I have an alternative explanation. I’d look very carefully to see which of Mr. Lajic’s neighbors might hold a grudge against him (or, for that matter, enjoy a good joke!). I’d then watch to see where they go on the next rainy night. Might it be that they’ve got hold of a chunk of space rock, and are breaking off pieces and lobbing them onto the poor man’s roof whenever they can be reasonably sure they won’t be spotted? I can accept that a heck of a lot more easily than a prolonged and uncannily accurate meteorite bombardment!

On the other hand, if Mr. Lajic has unaccountably succeeded in annoying hypothetical space aliens to the point where they’re carrying on like this, perhaps the Department of Defense should investigate. Their accuracy is phenomenal! We might want to build something like their aiming system into our own weapons.

We could call it the “Roswell Rock Reticle”!

Peter