“Crocodile Dunedain”???


I laughed out loud to read this five-year-old thread on Reddit.  I’ve forgotten who sent me the link via e-mail, but a tip o’ the hat to you, friend, whoever you are.

I’m planning on running Out of the Abyss in the next month with a group of mostly new players. I normally run Gumshoe or *world games, so I’ve been brushing up on 5e rules and I asked my girlfriend to become fluent in character creation so we can both guide the newbies through the initial stages with relative ease. I’m so glad I did.

This morning while I played fetch with our dog, she was taking in the sun and flipping through the Races section. She doesn’t know this, but I’ve been struggling with developing a Scottish accent to portray Dwarves in the coming campaign. I can just about manage ‘Ah’m Kang Brroonor Battlehammar’ before it collapses into stage Irish or worse.

She calls out to me “Hey, Dwarves are basically idealised Australians.”

I freeze, thunderstruck.

“Yeah, listen. They have a great sense of loyalty and fair play, they love a drink, they’re clannish and insular and they’re expert miners. I bet there’s a full on metal shop and a Holden in every Dwarf garage.”

As soon as she said it, the pieces just clicked into place. She was absolutely right. For weeks I’ve been struggling with forcing Dwarves into this Gaelic brogue when a far more comfortable option exists.

“Oi’m King Bruenor Battlehammer, mate.”

“That’s not an axe, this…”

Crocodile Dunedain.

Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch. But the idea of larrikin Dwarves getting on the piss and spoiling for a fight is a compelling fit for the DM style I’m itching to unleash after so many staid and frightening Gumshoe games. It’s a non-traditional approach, but from what I’ve read about Out of the Abyss, everything is to the left of normal anyway. I can’t wait.

There’s more at the link in the comments below the piece.  Do read them – some of them are hysterical.



  1. More like the clans sent near the surface are the Australian penal colony. There are more proper English dwarves elsewhere who hate outsiders and irish dwarves who duke it out between the clans.

  2. Sadly, the days of Ocker Dwarves are long gone. Bunch of Nanny-stated Nu-males. But the Karen Sheilas… testosterone enough for all right there… *and* many of them are as wide as they are tall.

  3. There are some dwarves who irresponsibly started ingesting soy milk, but we don't talk about them.

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