Today’s award goes to two dumb criminals in Brisbane, Australia. A tip o’ the hat to Australian reader Andrew for forwarding the link.
The “spectacularly unsuccessful” robbery of a Red Rooster by two ex-cons has been singled out by a judge as one of the “most inept” she has come across.
Jonte Thomas Holmes, 26, and Reece Charles Cummins, 29, took off from the Kelvin Grove fast food chain with what they thought was a cash register – only to discover their loot was nothing more than a wad of salt and pepper sachets.
. . .
Jonte Thomas Holmes has twice been jailed for attempting to rob Red Rooster chains.
“It’s breathtaking,” Holmes’ barrister Colin Reid said.
“He’s been spectacularly unsuccessful.”
Unbelievably, the court was told Holmes had been released one week earlier from prison after serving time for robbing a Maryborough Red Rooster while drunk.
Cummins had also just been released on parole.
There’s more at the link (which may be blocked by a paywall).
After two previous larcenous failures at that restaurant chain, you’d think Mr. Holmes would have learned his lesson . . . but no, he had to try again. Mr. Cummins probably egged him on. It must have been enough to make both of them swear. (“Oh, flock!”)