Doofus Of The Day #180


Today’s Doofus is from – but, according to him, not from – Pennsylvania.

A Northampton borough man charged with drunken driving claimed today the laws of Pennsylvania do not apply to him because he is autonomous, a county unto himself.

“I live inside myself, not in Pennsylvania,” said Scott Allan Witmer, who was wearing a light gray Coors Light sweatshirt and jeans.

Northampton County Judge Leonard Zito said he was afraid Witmer, 44, may have some psychological issues.

“I’m alarmed you may be a danger to yourself and the community,” Zito said.

Witmer, who was representing himself, said he filed the paperwork because he believes the police didn’t have jurisdiction to pull him over in the first place.

“I’m not insane,” Witmer said.

Defense attorney James M. Connell, who was serving as stand-by counsel, said a challenge to the stop would need to be filed as a pre-trial motion.

Witmer then said there was no victim in his crime and asked to go to trial.

Instead Zito revoked Witmer’s bail and set it at 10 percent of $25,000. Zito said Witmer cannot be released from prison until he has been evaluated by pre-trial services, and ordered drug and alcohol and psychological evaluations.

“I’ve already had like five of them done in prison,” Witmer said as sheriff deputies led him away in handcuffs.

In that case, Mr. Witmer, you should know what to expect. Good luck selling your story to the jury!

Peter

2 comments

  1. We just had some people on trial here claiming that they didn’t have to pay income taxes for a similar reason. They lost.

  2. It just occurred to me why you have your regular doofi section. Even on the quietest of days you’ll have *something* to write about, huh?

    😛

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