Doofus Of The Day #367

Today’s winner is from Coventry, England.

A hapless thief soon discovered he had chosen the wrong house to burgle when he came face-to-face with the owner – a 20-stone [280-pound] wrestler.

Lee Christie had grabbed a laptop and was about to make his escape when Adam Kalinowski returned home.

Father-of-one Adam, 37, wrestled Christie to the ground then got him in a headlock.

The factory worker held on to the 6ft 2in burglar – who began to cry and begged to be released – until police arrived at the address in Coventry.

Mr Kalinowski said: ‘I came home and saw the door was broken. I saw the man, and I mean this guy was big, but I didn’t know what he was doing there or what was in his bag. He could have had a knife.

‘Maybe it was the adrenalin, but I wasn’t scared because this is my house, my castle, as they say in England.’

‘He looked at me and said; ‘Oh, s**t!’ and pushed me against the wall so I gave him a kick in the stomach and that slowed him down.’

‘I know how to wrestle and I like fighting sports, so I got him in a Nelson headlock.

‘He was trying to get up, so I had to punch him in the head. My neighbour called the police and I held him until they came.

‘He was crying and saying “Leave me alone” but he was lucky I didn’t kill him because of the way I felt at the time.’

. . .

Christie, of Tile Hill, Coventry, was sentenced to two years in prison after admitting burglary at Coventry Crown Court.

There’s more at the link.

Rules for wannabe burglars:

1. Make sure your proposed victim isn’t at home, and won’t be coming home, during your ‘visit’;
2. Make sure he’s not bigger and brawnier than you are – as well as experienced in the manly arts of beating you to a pulp!

Still, it’s kinda nice when bad things happen to bad people . . .

Peter