Doofus Of The Day #713

Today’s award, courtesy of a heads-up e-mail from reader Peter B., goes to four Nigerian soccer teams.

In Nigeria, four teams have today been suspended after two playoff matches ended up as 79-0 and 67-0 wins.

. . .

First Plateau United Feeders beat Akurba FC 79-0, then Police Machine FC battered Bubayaro FC 67-0.

“It is unacceptable – a scandal of huge proportions,” said [Chairman of the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF) Organising Committee, Mike] Umeh, “The teams are suspended indefinitely, pending further sanctions. We will investigate this matter thoroughly and get to the bottom of it.”

So why did this happen? Well, promotion to the Nationwide League Division was at stake folks and when that comes up, it seems people go crazy. Police Machine and Plateau United Feeders were level on points going into their last game of the season. Only goal differential separated them.

Then the craziness occurred, as after half time the Feeders scored 72 times and Police Machine scored 61 times. How that’s possible is beyond me. Is there even enough time to keep going back to the center circle and kicking off for that?

After those 146 goals were smashed home, Plateau moved just above Police Machine on goal difference and were promoted.

. . .

The NFF have promised heavy bans, fines and sanctions on the players, coaches and individuals involved.

There’s more at the link.

Looks like e-mails inviting us to share in outlandishly large bank balances aren’t the only Nigerian frauds going around!  However, if they’re going to cheat, next time they might try being a little less obvious about it!



  1. That's easy to explain. The winning sides were playing basketball while their opponents were playing soccer.


  2. Soccer – isn't that the game Europeans watch in order to wind down after an exciting day of watching paint dry?

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