Doofus Of The Day #945

Today’s award goes to a particularly doofidical thief in Marietta, Georgia.

Police in Marietta, Georgia, put up a humorous post on Facebook, addressed to a shoplifter at a pawn shop who apparently still has a lot to learn about the theft game. Like, not leaving your ID. Or fingerprints. Or not doing your dirty work in full view of the cameras.

“Sir, you must have forgot that you gave the clerk your driver’s license with ALL of your personal information as well as providing him with your fingerprint when completing the pawn ticket before you stole from him which, by the way was also all on camera,” the post reads.

“Please at least try to hide. The judge has already signed the warrant. When you make it this easy it takes all the fun out of chasing bad guys!”

There’s more at the link.

The naughty man is now in durance vile.  One wonders how his fellow inmates will react when they learn how easy it was to identify him . . .

(A tip o’ the hat to reader J. M. for sending me the link to the story.)



  1. Years ago, I worked at a good sized pawn shop. I was in charge of the musical instrument section. One day I was called over by one of the guys working the loan counter to help valuate a bass guitar. It was an older Gibson model and would have been worth a few bucks except that at some point in its life, someone had used a woodburner to label the fretboard with the names of the notes.

    This unique "feature" also served to identify it as the same guitar that, up until a few minutes earlier, had been sitting on our sale rack. Some blistering idiot had actually picked the most visually unique instrument in the store to pull the price tag off of and try and pawn. There were plenty of cheaper, generic guitars I wouldn't have looked twice at – he could quite conceivably have made $50-100 off us and been down the road before we caught on.

    As it turned out, we declined the loan and had him arrested for shoplifting.

  2. Back in the day I worked the graveyard shift at a convenience store. One night a young man presented an ID for a beer purchase that had the year on his birthdate defaced by pushing a pin through the lamination and scratching around. I declined the sale, and the very angry boy set to tearing the store up, overturning shelves and breaking whatever would break, and throwing items at other customers (I was in a ballistic-glass cage). After he was done he backed out of the parking lot with his lights off, I presume to make it impossible to read his license plate. That left me with a trashed store, intact and still-operating video cameras, and his perfectly-valid driver's license which he had forgotten to retrieve. His father later paid for the repairs.

  3. Something about the State Of Jawjah must be breeding them lately, or at least attracting them…

    A bit earlier, I was reading on-line about a couple of non-rocket-scientists who strolled into an emporium in a strip-mall not too far to the West of Atlanta called Gun And Pawn – in the daytime, during regular store-hours – with ski-masks in place and clearly, openly armed…That's right: They undertook an open, bald-faced, daytime armed robbery of – a gun store – with the owner/operator clearly in attendance, behind the store counter.

    You can possibly imagine the rest…

    Final Score (at ths point): One somewhat-ventilated, quite dead "masked man" on the floor of the shop, a second masked miscreant currently "in the wind", minus any loot, having fled the premises – and, apparently, the whole neighborhood – in a silver-colored Dodge (rather-appropriate, that), presumed still armed but with gendarmes in pursuit, and one (doubtless) somewhat-ruffled but unscathed-physically gun store owner who threw down on the would-be banditos and Repelled All Boarders in timely manner.

    As one witness/bystander put it, it was "…an un-well-planned thing…"

    Excitin' times in GA!

    J. S. Bridges
    Wilmington, NC

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *