Doofus Of The Day #968

A tip o’ the hat to the anonymous reader who forwarded me a link to this report from Florida.

It happened about 5 a.m. on July 17 as Officer Robie Troutman was in his patrol vehicle at the main police station writing a report, according to his report.

“While in my vehicle, I heard the rear passenger side door handle make noise and then the front passenger side door handle make noise, where I was positioned seated in the driver seat of my clearly marked Fort Pierce Police Department Patrol vehicle,” the report said.

Troutman opened his door and reported seeing a man later identified as Aaron Orlando Rodriguez III run away and hide behind another vehicle.

There’s more at the link.

Not only that, the fleeing felon had drug paraphernalia on him, adding to the charges he’ll face.  Clearly, he’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

I do have to ask, though:  with a name like Troutman . . . did the officer suspect that something fishy was going on?



  1. One suspects that the reason no actual marijuana or other drugs were found on the exterior of the perpetrator was that they were on the inside of the perpetrator, thus making the perpetrator unable to see the large uniformed fishperson in the driver's seat.

    Or, maybe he thought Troutman was an hallucination.


  2. Reading your post I had a vision of a guy so wrapped up in his own little world that for him the concept of 'policeman' does not even exist. When he gets pulled up short it is a complete surprise that something like that could happen to him.

  3. In the late '70s I was a MI state trooper assigned to the city of Detroit freeways. On midnights my partner had a craving for popcorn and insisted we stop at a small bodega on Jefferson Ave. I did, and he went inside to make his purchase. I sat in the idling fully-marked MSP unit, my duty revolver in hand (it wasn't a safe location for anybody). A citizen lurched from the small store, staggered up to our unit's back door, and opened it.
    The lad found himself looking into the muzzle of my .357.
    "Fine!" he said. "I just wait for another f-ing taxi!"

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