Apparently yesterday marked Chuck Norris’ 75th birthday (a fact that makes me feel old, right there . . . ) I was amused to see the London Telegraph getting in on the act with ‘The 20 best Chuck Norris facts‘.
In 2005, a series of jokes starting circulating online, possibly inspired by the American comedian and broadcaster Conan O’Brien. Deliberately absurd, and focussing on Norris’s virility, manliness and all-round heroism, a typical “Chuck Norris fact” runs like this: “Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting… because he’s not acting.” Or: “Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”
The popularity of “Chuck Norris facts” mushroomed and today a Twitter account (@chuck_facts) dedicated to providing fans with a stream of facts has 270,000 followers. Norris himself has admitted to finding the jokes amusing and said that his favourite “Chuck Norris fact” is: “They wanted to put Chuck Norris’s face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard.”
. . .
So without further ado, I’d better get on and pick some of the best “Chuck Norris facts” – before a roundhouse kick greets me on the way out of the office.
3) The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’s age is to cut him in half and count the rings. (Norris commented: “Three years ago, at the end of a Nightline interview, ABC host Bill Weir asked me my age and I told him 66. Then I added with a smile, ‘I like to say I’m 39, with 27 years of experience.'”)
4) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
6) Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
7) If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
11) Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
13) Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
14) Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That’s why there are no signs of life.
There’s more at the link. Good for a giggle.
Peter
Thanks I needed a laugh after today!
when I was in high school (early 80s) one of my friend's brothers was a semi-pro kick boxer and a very skilled and tough fighter. he fought Chuck Norris in the 70s when nobody knew who chuck was and chuck kicked his ass in the ring. chuck Norris is the real deal and I always had a lotta respect for him after I heard that story.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in front of his fireplace.
It's not dead, it's just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, but Death is afraid to tell him.
Good news, bad news; Good, they've found a total cure for cancer; its Chuck Norris' tears. Bad, Chuck never cries…..
There is no Global Warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned up the Sun.
Or one I posted yesterday, "The reason why Chuck looks so young at 75 is because he round-house kicked Father Time."
😛
I was on a blog where there were members of the the US military that were giving each other crap. Marines cutting the Navy, Air Force, and Army. Navy cutting the Marines, Air Force and Army. Army cutting the Marines, Navy, and Air Force. I was the only Air Force veteran and my post ended the argument:
Chuck Norris was in the Air Force.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun!
My all-time favorite:
On his motorcycle, Chuck Norris achieves lean angles of greater than 90 degrees.
–Tennessee Budd
there's a couple other funny chuck norris things -one this spoof of Jean Claude VanDammes Volvo truck commercial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA
Then there's the World of Warcraft commercial he was in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKaIlT_lK1s
Behind Chuck Norris' beard is not a chin, but another fist.
I think my favorite actually comes from Expendables 2, in which Chuck Norris makes a Chuck Norris joke, straight faced.
"I was bitten by a King Cobra. After three days of excruciating pain, the snake died."