For those bored with mere guns and knives

Need a new form of self-defense? Bored with guns? Knives lost their cutting edge?

You should get in touch with Urban Armory. Here are a few of their suggestions for that certain something you’ve always wanted. Regrettably, their spelling and grammar aren’t always up to speed, but I’ll leave them verbatim.

First, a working flame-thrower:

This is a US GI COMPLETE flame thrower set up our last one comes complete uncut and ready to roast, with instructional DVD on how to use with a New made wand updated so you do not need to find those old matches on the net !!! Remember NO LICENSE NEEDED !! ships to your home!

Price: $8,500.00

If that’s a bit short-ranged, how about this Mk 19 fully-automatic grenade launcher? It’s the only example legally registered and transferable for civilian ownership.

Price: $425,000.00

For defending a larger area, requiring mobility, Urban Armory offer this T-34 tank:

1954 chech manufactured live and rolling Tank . Live breech with subcaliber kits!!!

Included in the sale is a perfect running British ferret armored car see the pic!!

Price: $79,000.00. (The Ferret armored car alone is $28,000.00.)

Of course, if your neighbor gets something like that, you’ll need to visit Urban Armory yourself for the antidote:

U.S T8 90 MM anti tank [gun]. The most comprehensive package we have ever seen! Be the only one on the block! Free freight in the U.S.

Price: $99,000.00

Seems to me we could have a pretty riotous arms race between neighborhoods!

Peter