Fred on Trump

Fred Reed brings the snark in his own inimitable fashion.

Once upon a time there was a fairy kingdom that lived inside a place called The Beltway, and was surrounded on all four sides by a land called America. The Beltway was aligned with another kingdom called Manhattan, inhabited by disembodied heads that spoke from the walls of bars, and with with yet another closed kingdom called Hollywood, the abode of  half-educated narcissists. These kingdoms were in eternal political syzygy, and spoke not with the people of the surrounding lands, of whom they knew nothing. The following is a chronicle of what befell them, and why.

. . .

Now, until the Trump Monster appeared, the America was ruled by a pseudo-democracy of one bicephalous party with two names. The Only Party consisted of blackguards and Quislings and pickpockets bought and paid for by the plutocratic oligarchy of large corporations, AIPAC,  and the. very rich. These told the two halves of the One Party what to do. Every four years there was played  a great tournament in which candidates of the Two Names of the One Party engaged in the most savage combat imaginable.  This was to distract the people outside the walls . Afterwards nothing changed and all went on as before, though the division of the spoils shifted a bit.

And in their ignorance and pride the Three Kingdoms engendered a monster called Trump, and it bit them.

. . .

One of the Two Names of the One Party, the Democrats, sent forth a dreadful creature called Hillary to fight in single combat with the Trump Monster. Her very visage turned men to stone, it was said. She was held to be of one blood with Boadicea, Jean d’Arc, Lucretia Borgia, and Bonnie Parker.

The Three Kingdoms were at one with her, as she was corrupt, mendacious, criminal, and ugly, as well as suffering coughing fits and dizzy spells. Surely, said the scribes and oracles, any monster must fly screaming from her mere presence.

Yet it seemed that the Trump was no common monster. Every time he was beset by the scribes and oracles of the Beltway, he grew stronger, and a sulfurous smoke breathed from his mouth. With drawn swords the Trump Monster and the crumbling ruin yclept Hillary circled each other.

There’s more at the link.

As I’ve said before, I have no idea whether or not Mr. Trump would make a good President;  but he’s making a damn fine candidate, IMHO, by scaring the hell out of the establishment.  That’s a good start!  Perhaps he’ll yet carve this epitaph of the political class on the walls of the Capitol Building:

‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

I think Jefferson and Jackson would approve.



  1. The word "inimitable" was pretty coined for Fred. He does know how to turn a phrase. From an earlier post, wherein he discussed "eugenics", discussing the concept of genetic engineering to increase intelligence:

    "The politically correct argue that intelligence doesn't exist, and they are themselves compelling evidence for the thesis."

    One of these days, I'll learn not to eat or drink while reading his columns.

  2. it's a nefarious plot, the evil genius trump, debt dodger and land thief, will dazzle us with his clown act then build his wall to keep us locked in our shackled dream while he lives by the red queens rule. Or he gives us the kind of boost atlantic city got from trump casino. Or the horse might learn to sing.

  3. I see Trump as having done more to further the Democratic cause than any of the Democrats have, with his antics. I hope he pulls the useless guts from the GOP so they can quit messing around and do something. Is there really anyone stupid enough to vote for him? I am not a Hillary fan and I would be surprised if Bernie lives to be inaugurated, but the GOP just flat sucks. Libertarian, anyone?

  4. I start by saying "I'm a T.E.A. Party member, and I took my oath to heart for life when I joined the military".
    Then I say, "Trump supports abortion", and his supporters say, "Yes… BUT…".
    I say, "He supports universal health care", and his supporters say "Yes, BUT…".
    I say, "As a private citizen he tried to use government power to steal a little old lady's property to enrich himself", and his supporters respond "Yes, BUT…".
    He's making BUTS of us all.

  5. You say, "Trump supports abortion". I say, "So are you protesting Paul Ryan, who funded it with your tax dollars?"

    You say, "Trump supports universal health care". I say, "So are you protesting the 2008-2015 Republican caucus, which made it a point NOT to pass any bills opposing or controlling Obamacare?"

    You say, "As a private citizen he tried to use government power to steal a little old lady's property to enrich himself". I say, So since the Kelo Decision was in 2005 when the Republican Party controlled both houses of Congress and the Presidency; and since 2010 the Republican Party has controlled both houses of Congress and could pass whatever bills it wanted to… and AT NO TIME has ANY federal bill controlling eminent domain passed out of congress into the Oval Office… INCLUDING from Tea Party members… are you protesting Trump using existing law, or the GOP for not changing it?

    I guess you have a little "Yes, BUT…" to do yourself.

  6. Yes to all.
    We've lost our compass.
    I fear we've lost our country.
    And yes please, make the funny voices.

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