A reader sent me a link to a Tumblr post in which a user asked this question:

I recall at least one of you guys having worked with livestock animals. Why are cows so damn indestructible while horses keel over and die if mercury is in retrograde or a dog barked in Kazakhstan?

The answers were very funny, particularly the one that began:

My entirely half-assed understanding of Why Horses Explode If You Look At Them Funny, As Explained To Me By My Aunt That Raises Horses After Her Third Glass Of Wine.

Click over there to read them for yourself, and brighten your morning.  Anyone who’s been on the receiving end of horsing around (the equine variety, not the human) will appreciate the humor.

(PROFANITY ALERT:  There are a few f-bombs and the like scattered around there, but it’s still funny!)



  1. I am impressed by the one toe answer. It is actually spot on for what is happening and why. And why horses can run at 40 mph for well over a mile carrying a person. The breathing mechanism is kind of awesome in a creepy way…

  2. Could be I suppose. But burros only have one toe and they seem to do okay.

    Mustangs, too, although they're horses. Except they're not babied, stabled, saddled, or fed grain. They run when they want, rest when they want. And the weak die first. That may have something to do with it.

  3. I've owned horses. My experience of their binary nature took some adaptation on my thinking. Assuming one side was the same as the other side could be dangerous. Giving them an injection on one side could lead to panic, when the horse knew the injection would hurt, and the smell of alcohol triggered extreme nervousness. Moving to the other side, where there was never an injection given, was an easy task, since the horse hadn't learned the odor of alcohol could be associated with pain on that side.

    1. Forest cockroaches. Pretty forest cockroaches that occasionally play in traffic. That's how they'd describe deer, I suspect.

  4. Too many horses are the result of severely inbred lines. You want a robust horse, get away from all the championship lines and buy a working horse from unknown bloodlines.

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