Children should not leave sherry for Santa Claus this Christmas Eve because he is an overweight binge-drinker at risk of mental health problems, the head of the Royal College of GPs has warned.
Jolly old St Nicholas is famed for his rotund stomach, rosy cheeks and, according to children’s poem The Night Before Christmas, keeps a pipe glued to his lips at all times.
But Professor Helen Stokes-Lampard, chairwoman of the RCGP, said his poor diet and lifestyle had left Santa at risk of host of debilitating conditions.
It is likely, said Professor Stokes-Lampard, that Santa is suffering from alcoholism, work related stress, gout and sleep deprivation.
He may even have contracted Lyme disease from spending too much time with his reindeers, which could be infested with disease-bearing ticks. And the pressure of working night-shift will also have exacted a heavy health toll.
In fact, unless Santa gets a handle on his drinking, over-eating and lack of excercise, it could be the last year he will be dropping presents down the chimney.
. . .
“In the meantime, I would recommend that Santa gives the sherry a miss this year – and maybe asks Rudolph if he can share his carrots.”
There’s more at the link.
Some, of course, might consider the good Doctor a killjoy. Hmmm . . . if one disagrees with her, does that make one a dissenter or a dis-Santa?