1. I like that last one with the cemetery because freaking people out is my thing. Once, during an election year, a young female campaign worker for Linda McMahon approached me at a town Independence Day fireworks event. She was trying to hand me a flyer and started her spiel, when I stopped her and said, "Uh, I can't vote because I'm a convicted violent felon."

    She backed away quickly and silently. In hindsight I shoulda yelled "BOO!" at her and made her piss herself.

  2. Mom told the story about growing up in a small town. The cemetery was conveniently next door to the hospital. The night shift orderlies and nurses would sometimes take breaks for, ahem, a little recreational activity. White clad figures moving around the cemetery at night, sometimes accompanied by moans and groans, had the young 'uns freaked out.

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