Of sex, shenanigans and sorrow

I don’t know why these things come in clumps, but tonight, in preparing my blog posts, I’ve found a whole slew of reports about the seamier side of our sexual nature. Some have been sobering, but they’ve also been funny.

First, German brothels are complaining about the effect of the economy on their business.

Times are hard down at Berlin’s Pussy Club where a new all-in service is on offer: €70 for girls, drinks and food.

Like many of its counterparts, the brothel has been hit by the credit crunch and has had to come up with its own stimulus package for a trade that was legalised in Germany seven years ago.

The Belle Escort, another brothel in the capital, has not faced problems before, but the current financial crisis has triggered a sharp decline in clientele, said its owner Isabelle.

She rejected the idea of ‘special deal prostitution’ as offered by the Pussy Club but admitted, “We’re in trouble.

“I’d estimate that we have at least 20 percent fewer people coming here,” she said.

Monika Heitmann works for a support network for prostitutes in Bremen and confirms the problems the industry is facing.

“If customers can’t even afford to spend money on housing, food and cars, then how can we expect them to spend money on sex?” she asked.

. . .

Some places have been forced to shut their doors and in January, sex-shop owners and porn producers pushed for state aid, taking their lead from the crisis-hit auto and banking industries.

Erotic trade federation official Uwe Kaltenberg, said that ‘economic aid would be judicious’.

Heitmann is now afraid that waning turnover could damage the industry’s reputation even more and that back-street prostitution could escalate.

Barbara Kavemann, professor at the Berlin Research Institute for Social Science and Women Studies, said the full impact of the financial crisis could not be determined because there was no concrete data.

“Firstly, prostitutes don’t legally have to be registered, and secondly, who defines who is a prostitute?” she asked.

But Isabelle and other brothel owners do not need empirical data or definitions to confirm the impact of the credit crunch on the sex industry has been hard.

“The only thing we can do now is keep our fingers crossed and hope for better times,” she said, “and obviously I wouldn’t say no to a state-funded cash injection.”

A ‘state-funded cash injection’??? But . . . I thought cash went before ‘injection’, at least in a brothel! Or am I not getting this straight?

Next, we have the trials and tribulations of prostitutes’ clients in Escambia County, Colorado.

Soon wives could receive letters from the Escambia County Sheriff’s Department letting them know when their husbands are arrested for soliciting prostitutes.

“I don’t think it’s people’s right to do that. I really don’t,” said Trishanne LaFreniere, a woman who opposes the letter.

“She has the right to know,” said Laurie Thuma, who likes the idea of alerting wives. “This impacts her on many levels, including her health.”

Even the men in Escambia County can’t seem to agree whether or not the letter is a good idea.

“This letter’s making you guilty before you get your day in court,” emphasized Jeff Hughes. “You need therapy. You need help. You don’t need to be lambasted by your wife.”

“She should know,” countered Mark Thuma. “The sooner the better, so she can make her own decisions.”

Lt. Pat Spears says the department is still working out all of the legal issues involved, but she says their motive is to protect the women who could become innocent victims.

“We’re not trying to break up homes or tear up marriages,” explained Lt. Spears. “What we’re trying to do is a safety issue; warning women what this guy could be taking home.”

Spears says some of the prostitutes in this area are HIV positive, yet they still work the streets.

She says deputies will always patrol problem areas.

They’re hoping wives can patrol the home front.

Sounds like this could lead to a holocaust of domestic understanding!

We move to sunny Volusia County, Florida, to learn what one woman did when she learned of her man’s underage philandering.

A woman was so angry with her boyfriend Thursday morning that she chased him with her van as he ran from her, then drove through a fence and hit him near Interstate 4, police said.

Leoninas Williams, 37, flew through the vehicle’s windshield, but was able to get up and continue to run.

Deputies said 33-year-old Traci Desaussure, armed with a knife, chased her boyfriend across rush hour traffic and into a median.

Once in the median, Desaussure beat her boyfriend, deputies said.

“By witness accounts, yes, she chased him across I-4 and started fighting with him in the median against the guardrails,” said Deputy James Nunn, of the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.

Investigators said Desaussure became enraged when she learned her boyfriend was allegedly having a sexual relationship with an underage girl.

Deputies said the woman called 911 and warned them that she was about to kill her ex-boyfriend.

“I got an emergency,” Desaussure said on the 911 call. “I need an officer now. There’s gonna be a murder.”

. . .

Williams was flown to Halifax Medical Center and was in serious condition.

Desaussure is in custody and is facing attempted first-degree murder charges.

I can’t quite figure out how she could call 911 to tell them to help her, then set out to be the aggressor . . . but then, I suspect logic wasn’t on the mind of either participant right then!

Last, but emphatically not least, there’s what a Russian lady (?) did to her husband when she caught him cheating.

A wronged wife has taken revenge on her cheating husband by biting off his private parts.

Katya Kharitovonova has been jailed for two years for the attack on husband Mikhail after waking up to find him and her best friend half-naked.

She also lashed out at Lisa Dmitriyeva, smashing her over the head with a floor lamp.

Liza, 33, had earlier been invited to a meal at the couple’s home in Russia, before they all sat down to watch The War Of The Worlds.

Katya, 36, fell asleep, allowing 40-year-old Mikhail and Liza to fall into each other’s arms.

Mikhail told a court near Moscow: “Liza started stroking my hair and legs, and then it went further.”

Liza revealed: “I kissed Mikhail’s lips. He didn’t resist, and then I kissed him more.”

When Katya awoke to discover oral sex going on, she furiously hit her love rival than bit her husband – though did then call an ambulance to take him to hospital.

Mikhail said: “I saw the blood spurting out of Liza’s mouth and then felt a sharp pain. I don’t remember what happened next, I was unconscious.”

Doctors were eventually able to stitch him back together.

Hmm. I suggest a new Russian word for castration by an enraged lover. How about ‘Bobbitt-ski’???

Peter