One of the saddest headlines I’ve ever read

I was not so much surprised as deeply saddened to read this headline and report the other day.

Man strangled woman during sex just two hours after they met

Mark Bruce, 32, met 20-year-old Chloe Miazek at a bus stop in the early hours of the morning on November 3 last year after they had been on separate nights out in Aberdeen.

She died at his hands when he choked her after they were said to have discovered a mutual interest in erotic asphyxiation.

Miss Miazek, a Tesco worker from Kemnay, Aberdeenshire, had been drinking with friends in the city before being asked to leave a nightclub.

The High Court in Aberdeen heard that both had been drinking heavily and that she died in seconds after he seized her neck as they had sex in his city centre flat.

There’s more at the link.

When someone – male or female – has so little respect for their physical, mental and spiritual integrity that they will engage in extremely dangerous sexual practices with a stranger, without knowing anything about them . . . that’s tragic, but also symptomatic of so much that’s wrong with our society.  There’s no sense of right or wrong any more, no sense of what may or may not be wise, or appropriate, or safe, or . . . whatever.

This woman may as well have thrown herself on the garbage dump outside town.  That’s the value she placed on her life – her actions prove it.  As for the man, he’s admitted culpable homicide (i.e. manslaughter, in US terms), but denied murder, because the erotic asphyxiation was consensual.  The court agreed with him.  The fact that he can eagerly look forward to strangling a stranger while engaged in intercourse marks him as, at the very least, mentally suspect, as far as I’m concerned.  If that had been my daughter, I don’t know what I’d have done to him, even if she had consented to the act.

For so many people, sex is just “f***ing” now.  There’s no sense of mystery, or love, or romance, or intimacy, at all.  If it’s just physical, then obviously, anything goes, right?

I’m glad I’m not a young person today.  The thought of dealing with such attitudes sends a cold chill down my spine.  At least, when I grew up, we were taught some semblance of values and respect for others.  Today?  Not so much, it seems.



  1. The evidence suggests death is likely to have been quick, seconds rather than minutes. The extent of the injuries suggested not much force being used.

    "Strangled" is not an accurate term. She had a physical weakness she was unaware of, perhaps a brain aneurysm. They both did an action which would leave a normal person uninjured. She did not dis-value herself. She was not the author of her physical weakness, but she was the author of doing an action which encountered it. Manslaughter is not an accurate term. She was far more culpable than he was, she invited it. No criminal punishment for the man is warranted.

    I expect there was a sense of mystery, love, romance, and intimacy. Libido is a normal human drive, which Maslow categorized on the same priority tier as eating and drinking. Putting women on a pedestal as madonnas who only have sexual desire for reproduction and not for pair-bonding is a puritanical perversion.

  2. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that believing things contrary to evidence is a form of self-harm similar to abuse of intoxicants. It is a direct attack on the ability to distinguish delusion from reality. It diminishes the ability to listen to conscience and empathy. To the extent it has taken hold it reduces a human to a robot following a program somebody else handed it. Often that somebody else is a national dictator.

    When the movie star stalker finally loses track of reality and believes the movie star loves them, we don't praise their faith as the highest virtue. Instead, we give them mental health treatment to fix the broken software in their brain.

  3. Back before I got saved, I was in the scene for a few years. I knew some serious players–no Fifty Shades stuff here, I'm talking bullwhips, electricity, cutting, branding and stuff that might make some of you faint dead away. These folks had literally decades of experience, and you could hardly find a one who didn't consider strangulation and breath play Off The Table.

    Why? See above. This kind of thing is incredibly dangerous. There are so many ways that things can go instantly, fatally wrong, and before you know it, somebody is dead and they ain't coming back. Some kinks are best left in the realm of fantasy, and this is one of them.

    Don't do it with a stranger, or a friend, or a lover, or a spouse. Just don't do it at all.

  4. A fairly notable minority of women like being choked during sex. Like they will ask for it. It’s almost always pretty tame, more of a mild pressure and control thing.

    I would think a guy would notice her passing out but I guess they were both drunk, got carried away and it happened. A sad thing.

  5. Anyone engaging in sex after such a brief time, does not put much value on themselves. That applies no matter the sex of the individual.

  6. Quartermaster, there are many people who think that sort of pleasure is owed to them, because they are the center of the universe, and that is their natural due. That's not what I would call low self-value.

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