1. I told my son, "You will wed the woman I choose for you."

    "You've been drinking sidecars again, haven't you? Haven't you?"


    "I knew it, I just knew it. How many times have you been told to stay away from the brandy? That and the Cointreau."

    "Ah, well, you see – "

    "Yes, I do see. I see you're calling me up at 6:00 PM EST, which in your deranged mind is happy hour, and you start getting maudlin and calling me son. I'm not your son. I'm your ex's daughter. The one who isn't speaking to you? That one. Now lay off the sidecars and belt down a martini or two. Get yourself straightened out."

    And that's how politics works for me.

  2. Butt-f*****s, ALL OF THEM!
    Keep in mind this is one of the norms of societies that consider themselves to be bastions of morality, virtues, innovation, creativity, and "respect for individual freedom".

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