Quote of the day

From Paul, blogging at Hawsepiper, talking about driving a very upmarket rental car:

Driving a Jaguar on the highway is like wiping your ass with silk. OMG.

Er . . . I don’t think Jaguar is likely to use that phrase in their advertising, but I have to admit, it’s very descriptive!

(I would, however, like to know how he came up with the comparison.  Was it based on personal experience?)



  1. I used to travel to Europe on business quite often. After a few years of doing this and driving econo-box cars the rental agency started upgrading me. The typical car was a 3 series BMW and occasionally a 5 series.

    Then I got upgraded to a Jag XK with the 5L engine in Germany a few years back. It was smooth as silk and had a fantastic exhaust note. My only complaint was the 165mph electronic speed limiter.

  2. I remember a graffiti at the Grand Canyon. "This toilet paper is like John Wayne. It's rough and ifs tough and it don't take no crap off nobody."

  3. George, if you can afford silk to wipe your ass, you can afford enough of it for it to actually work. Or servants to do it for you. Or both.

  4. From the Matrix Reloaded – https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234215/quotes

    Merovingian: I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculer ta mère. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.

  5. I own a Jag XKR with the supercharged 4.2 liter V8. I wouldn't describe its ride feel in quite that way, but it is very smooth and comfortable.

  6. I owned two Jags. The first, a Navy Blue XJS V-12, which my Navy squadron repainted for me by accident when they were repainting the hangar, so they paid to have it painted white. The next, a convertible XKE, champaign gold, nice touring car but I totaled it on the same curve that a guy in the squadron next door totaled his. They were nice cars, except for their electrical systems, which were designed by the same guy who is responsible for England drinking warm beer.

  7. I was passed this afternoon by something that looked like a cross between an North American Ford and a North American Volvo. As the car went by I saw the familiar Jaguar emblem on the rear hatch. My first thought was, " That's a Jag? You have got to be kidding"

  8. I’m a lady chauffeur in England and drive all sorts of luxury cars. Jaguar and Porsche are the only manufacturers that are engineering led.

    Ben Hunter, what you saw may be the F-Pace, the SUV body built on the F-type underpinnings. Out of all the cars I’ve driven in the last two years, the Jaguar F-Pace has been the best. Very quiet 3 litre diesel, corners as if it is on rails, which is great in this country. Brilliant to drive. Told my client the first time I drove it that I almost ran away with it. As I’m a 5 series Beamer girl myself, that’s the best compliment I can give.

  9. No, but I've wiped my butt with German army issue toilet paper, so I know what wiping with the middle layer of a cardboard box feels like.

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