I had to laugh out loud when I read this report.
According to various reports circulating online, the chart-topping rapper Drake is alleged to have utilized a rather unique method to prevent fans and groupies from stealing his sperm after doing the proverbial deed by putting hot sauce inside of his used condoms.
And apparently, a woman who’d learned of this practice allegedly learned the hard way by trying to do the very thing this alleged practice was meant to deter – via her trying to insert the expelled condom inside of her. This woman is allegedly threatening to sue the rapper for her injuries.
There’s more at the link.
I wasn’t aware that this is apparently a thing: nubile women catch the eye of a celebrity, induce him to have sex with them, and then deliberately try to fall pregnant by inserting his used condom, hoping for a big child support payout if they succeed. Clearly, I’ve led a sheltered life.
In this case, since that’s very clearly what this woman was trying to do, I can only say that she deserves all the pain she got. If she sues him, I hope he counter-sues for attempted fraud and anything else his lawyers can think of.
Meanwhile, what hot sauce is best for that application? Suggestions in Comments, please. With tongue firmly in cheek, I think this one might do:
I propose the Last Dab
I read about this from the mid-90's, but it was with women trying to snare sports figures, and athletes would do the same thing to prevent it.
Frank's Red Hot, "I put that #*@! on Everything."
Hasn't spermicide been a product for years? Don't they make condemns with spermicide already applied? Don't know bout yall, but I'm not putting any capsicum related product near my genitals.
TeeRoy… Apply after you take the condom off.
You would think the red coloring would give things away. But who knows? These folks aren't known for their Mensa level thinking.
This is one of the topics that new NBA players get made aware of in the "Welcome to the NBA" training.
Snort… She got what she deserved…
I need to add "Burning Bush" to my hot sauce collection. Another favorite of mine is "Bad Girls in Heat" which would also be appropriate, as well as "Fifi's Nasty Little Secret". It's a collection, so I haven't tasted most of them, just line them up.
Boris Becker got caught like this.
My favorite is Endorphin Rush, 3.5 million on the Scovill scale.
All kidding aside, I've read horror stories about men having to pay child support after the female "sabotaged" the contraceptives the man used.
When the deed is done, flush the prophylactic down the toilet.
My daughter-in-law suggests her Carolina Reaper sauce. Or itching powder.
I've read that the standard rule among NBA(and probably other) athletes is "ALWAYS use your own condom." Because women wanting that fat child support check will use a needle to puncture the condoms they bring.
Also recommended was 'get rid of the condom after in a way they can't get it/use it."
Another solution? Don't have sex with women you wouldn't want bearing your children. Radical concept, I know, I'm a little nutty. Just a thought.
Alternately, maybe use spermicidal condoms, and dispose of them afterwards?
Hot sauce? Seriously? If that's true, the guy's a bigger moron than I already thought he was.
My suggestion? Over at my site it was
either will do.
Gonna be a hot time in the old t*** tonight!