The New York Times brings us instructions on – of all things! – “How to Have Sex in a Canoe“.
Take some basic precautions. First, make room. Stow your paddles, handle ends down, behind the stern seat. Take out the removable center thwart, if there is one; you don’t want to get stuck under it in the event of a flip. (One old boat in the museum’s collection, called a “girling canoe,” features a detachable thwart and a record player.) To maintain balance, relax your body. “Let your hips roll with the canoe,” Raffan says. Be mindful of the fact that sound carries particularly well across still water. To avoid someone rushing to rescue you, keep some body parts visible above the gunwale. “A canoe with nobody in it raises alarm,” Raffan says. Beginners should try such activities only on still water. You may decide to remove your life jacket, which is probably fine as long as you’re a capable swimmer. Before disrobing, consider that black flies and mosquitoes are most active around twilight.
There’s more at the link.
Sound advice, I’m sure (although not from personal experience, I hasten to add). “Take out the removable center thwart”? Oh, yes – otherwise your amorous endeavors might be thwarted, to put it mildly!
I note, of course, that this article uses the term “canoe” to refer to something like the Native Americans used, or the Canadian fur trappers who learned from them. I’d like to see a couple try it in a kayak. That might make it all the way to “America’s Funniest Home Videos“!