Doofus Of The Day #1,071


Today’s award goes to the designer(s) and manufacturer of this product – not to mention all the shops that sell it.

It looks – and presumably behaves – like a miniature, low-power Taser.  Trouble is, if someone hits me with an electric shock, no matter how small, I’m going to instinctively, automatically assume it’s a real Taser.  After all, that’s what I’m trained for, having served as a prison chaplain!  That means I’m going to respond violently, at least physically, and possibly with a firearm.  Is that really what the designer of that product wants to happen?

They may have intended this to be a not-so-gentle reminder to observe safe social distancing, but the fact remains, to administer an electric shock to someone is technically and legally assault.  It’s a criminal offense (unless you’re a cop trying to make a suspect stop resisting).  That entitles the person being shocked to defend him- or herself against the assault.

I can see this leading to all sorts of complications . . .



  1. Shooting someone might be a bit excessive, but snatching it and drubbing them severely about the head and shoulders might be apropos.

  2. If it's really just 4.5 volts, you're not going to feel a thing from it except the tap. Might as well leave the batteries out for all they are doing. It's going to be half the sensation of a 9 V battery, and you can't feel those on your skin.

  3. I seriously doubt I would pull a handgun on someone wielding this against me, but I absolutely would snatch it and mangle it for their trouble.

  4. What most posters are missing is that it takes several seconds for your rational brain to kick in once your survival instinct is triggered. Something I learned many years ago as an Army Pvt. E-2 just out of basic training. You don't startle anyone that's only been back out of the bush for a couple of months.

    1. Saw that happen in Newport Beach in the late 60s. Walking the boardwalk with a friend who had been SF when first organized, he noted a man walking oddly, and said "keep distance" the local thug cop (a personality problem, not a general one) stepped out from a doorway and grabbed the guy by the shoulder and gotbtgrown over a car for his trouble.
      Many more cops, yelling and pointing guns, Sean yelling at the Captain on scene to stop it. Captain was ex-mil, heard Sean say thatvtge guy was still on patrol, calmed things down enough to get that the guy had taken the Armys' exchange of an extra 9 mos in Vietnam in exchange for 2 yrs service, andvhad been choppered out from a 3 week LRP in Laos, and in 48 hours, discharged in California as a civilian. Oops.
      All worked out, but we have a LOT of people here who will react badly to some a**hole tagging them with on of these.
      John in Indy

  5. I have no idea what the output is, and everything I've managed to read so far is careful not to mention any numbers. That makes me a bit suspicious.

    Would I shoot someone who pulled one of these on me? I don't think so. Bear repellent works well.

  6. 'Someone did that to me, I'd grab the thing, pretzel it, and throw it down at their feet… 'You want 6ft between you and me? MOVE AWAY FROM ME!

    …This is getting retarded…

  7. I would have the the wielder down on the floor and the device mangled before I could even think about it. No apologies afterwards either. Or any other comments.

    It's a really stupid idea to brandish such a weapon.

  8. Any of you aware of the trained and documented and supported response of cops to someone attempting to taze them? They shoot you dead. Their reasoning is that the tazer is being used to disable them so their issue gun can be used to kill them. On duty or off, same policy, I would assume.

  9. Hee hee. I was wondering how many folks would opt for rectal insertion of this thing.

    Not that I'm arguing, mind you.

  10. As stated above, just threatening someone with this device is assault. Actually using it constitutes a battery. My response would start at pretzeling the device and end with an ad hoc colonoscopy.

  11. 50 years ago, in 10th grade, I built a little device out of a cigar box, aluminum foil, a 9v battery, a transformer, and a mercury switch, as follows: Glue 1 continuous piece of foil on 3 sides of the box. Glue another to the other 3 sides, such that to hold the box, you must touch opposite sides. Battery and mercury bulb in series with low-voltage winding on transformer. Foil in contact with high voltage side. Jiggling or moving the box causes make-and-break switching via the mercury bulb, causing basically a few pulses of square wave input to the transformer.

    It's a pretty, shiny box to leave sitting out. You could put a big red ribbon on it, although I didn't. People will pick it up. The shock is minimal, but definitely noticeable.

    My chemistry teacher admired it, someone else eventually borrowed it, and it was confiscated by staff within an hour after that. I got in no trouble, but I wasn't foolish enough to try to get it back.

    4.5 volts, properly transformed, can deliver a noticeable shock. Not damaging, but probably triggering enough to a properly trained person to cause the reaction Peter and Will mentioned. You could become suddenly very, very dead.

  12. Designed to cause "just a little bit of pain."

    Depending on state law, probably not just assault, but battery. No pun intended.

  13. You use this to round up the little lady to get back in the kitchen when you need a sandwich. You can also get the kids out of the house and screw with the cat.

  14. This is, flat out, the stupidest "Covid Panic" product I have seen so far. I predict a short road to bankruptcy for the manufacturer, and possibly any business dumb enough to sell them.

  15. Y'all are sure, are you, that this isn't some internet device best advertised in the Onion and the Babylon Bee?

    If your legs aren't being pulled, hard, I miss my guess.

  16. That "4.5 Volt Zap!" suggests the absence of a transformer, hence total pointlessness – heck, it's only got the one terminal, so it'd be like grabbing *one* of the terminals on a 9V battery, only half as much.
    In the immortal words of young Bluebottle:
    "Fool this twig contains a torch battery that releases a paralysing electric shock. Screngeee . . . it will go, touch the end and see." (The Highly Esteemed Goon Show, The Tay Bridge Disaster)

  17. "Looks like it's genuine."

    Something P.T. Barnum said about "one born every minute" obviously applies to any would-be purchasers. 😉

  18. Libtards are all about pushing for gun owners having a duty to retreat. But someone getting too close and they're okay with zapping them with this crap. Whether it works or not, I strongly suggest you keep that POS in your pocket and beat feet.

  19. "If it's really just 4.5 volts, you're not going to feel a thing from it except the tap."

    That's actually worse. What would you respond more harshly to: someone waving a toy taser in your face, or someone who just whacked you with something that looks a lot like a collapsible baton?

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *