Readers will doubtless remember the 114th recipient of our Doofus Of The Day award: the publishers of Ralph magazine in Australia, who ‘lost’ 130,000 fake inflatable breasts that they were planning to distribute with their magazine next month.
It was at first feared that the fake boobs had fallen overboard, and were bobbing around the Pacific Ocean somewhere. Sensitive souls feared carnage on the beaches of tropical paradises when local young men discovered tens of thousands of inflatable wish-fulfillment devices washing ashore on the tide.
Well, they can put their minds at rest. The missing boobs have been discovered!
MORE than 100,000 pairs of missing inflatable breasts intended for an Australian men’s magazine promotion have turned up in Melbourne.
The shipment of plastic boobs from China had been missing for more than a week after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat, a Ralph magazine spokeswoman said.
They had been due to dock in Sydney last week, but have since turned up at a Melbourne dock, where they’ve been sitting for a week.
Workers are now frantically working to put them in bags to go out with the December 15 issue.
Ralph editor Santi Pintado said the incident had cost the magazine $30,000.
“If we’d found them a day later, it’d have been too late to get them on the next issue,” Pintado said.
“You’d think the Chinese economy was in enough trouble without misplacing 130,000 pairs of boobs.”
The magazine is expected to break the Guinness world record for the most boobs given away at one time.
I didn’t know Guinness even had a world record category like that! Is it for real boobs, too, or only the fake variety? Inquiring minds want to know!
Anyway, on to Doofus #119. I’m really not sure who should be singled out for this award – there are so many candidates in the story!
Perhaps it was the startled look on its face. Or maybe the fact it was frozen with fear.
But when an RSPCA officer was called out to investigate an owl that had been perched on a telegraph pole for days, she was so concerned she called the fire brigade.
It was only as a crew were about to deploy their aerial platform ladder to pluck the poor bird to safety that residents realised what was happening and rushed over to tell them it was a plastic decoy.
Homeowners living near the telegraph pole in Rayleigh, Essex, were having a hoot yesterday as they described how the animal charity and Essex Fire Service wasted their time.
Receptionist Carolyn Dyerson, 43, said: ‘I couldn’t believe my eyes. The woman from the RSPCA had been sitting outside for two hours, watching it.
‘She thought it was real and had even brought a net with her to catch it. I felt like telling her it hadn’t moved in three weeks.’
Mrs Dyerson added the owl was put on the pole by telecoms firm BT after neighbours complained about birds perching on lines and leaving mess on cars.
The plastic bird of prey was supposed to act as a deterrent by scaring off the smaller birds.
Another resident said: ‘If they’d bothered looking properly they’d have spotted a branch growing out of the top of the pole.
‘It was obviously fake and so was the owl that was perched on it.’
The rescue mission began on Tuesday morning when an RSPCA officer was depatched following a call from a worried postman.
When the owl failed to budge so much as an inch for a couple of hours, she decided to call in the fire service to end the bird’s distress.
Sub Officer Paul Tregear, of Essex Fire Service, said: ‘Just to make sure, the aerial ladder platform was called out to rescue this so-called owl.
‘But we were told by neighbours it was a decoy. We obviously didn’t know this until we arrived.’
The RSPCA said it had been tipped off after a postman noticed the bird had remained rooted to the spot during several of his daily rounds.
Spokeswoman Klare Kennett said: ‘It is not the first time we have been called to rescue an animal that isn’t real but we’d rather be safe than sorry.’
Perhaps the Doofus Award should go to British Telecom. After all, they’re the ones that stuck the owl up there in the first place! Besides, the same firm inflicted ‘Buzby‘ on us some years ago – an advertising campaign featuring a cartoon bird.
After Buzby, a fake owl probably seemed tame by comparison!
Peter
I wonder… does that fire department own an IR camera, and if they do, did they bother to see if, oh I don’t know, that possibly alive owl was emitting heat? Just curious.