Doofus Of The Day #184

Some Doofi are so doofy that it’s almost beyond belief. Today’s Doofus, from Ramsgate in England, is such a character.

A nightclub boss who wrote a letter to police denying that drug use was rife in her club has lost her license, after cops found that the letter itself was covered in cocaine.

Pauline Terry wrote the letter in January, denying that Club Compass in Ramsgate, Kent was a haven for drug taking. A police raid on the venue had found ‘huge’ traces of various Class A drugs in the bar and toilets, including cocaine, heroin and ecstasy.

A police source said: ‘ It does us a lot of favours when the licencee, in defending her nightclub on drug allegations, sends in a letter covered in cocaine.’

Police licensing officer Nigel Cruttenden said: ‘When we did a swab in the toilets we found traces of cocaine, heroin and ecstasy at the highest level ever recorded in Thanet. A level of four is sufficient for magistrates to order a crack house closure and we found 8.3.’

And about Terry’s letter, he added: ‘When I did a swab I found a reading of 1.1 for cocaine inside the envelope.’

Terry – who was fined £1,000 for a number of license breaches last month – failed to turn up for the licensing hearing last week, at which Thanet council revoked her license. Police are recommending that the club be closed permanently.

Ah, the joys of dumb crooks and doofi! I’m sure the police will hoist a grateful glass (or two, or three) of ale in her direction when this case is over.

Peter