Doofus Of The Day #886

Today’s award goes to an overly sentimental bird lover in Florida.

According to Suncoast Animal League, an animal shelter in Palm Harbor, Florida, [a] man encountered an injured kestrel earlier this month and decided to take it home. The bird had no apparent signs of trauma besides some light swelling and a bruised eye—typical of hitting a vehicle—and appeared to be relatively tame, so the man decided to keep it as a pet.

Possession of wild animals without the proper permits is illegal. Further, despite the fact that kestrels are the most abundant raptors in North America, they are protected by law.

“The man was informed that the bird was a protected species and must be turned in to the proper authorities,” Suncoast Animal League wrote … “He still maintained that he wanted the Kestrel as a pet but finally agreed to give it up after much dialogue. But before he turned it over, he decided a goodbye kiss was in order.

“The Kestrel had other ideas and took a big, giant chunk out of the lip service that was provided.”

Perhaps the bird thought it was a worm.

There’s more at the link.

Kissing a kestrel?  I’ve heard of someone having a ‘hawk-like visage’, but never so literally!  I bet he won’t do that again in a hurry . . .



  1. Years ago the comic strip SYLVIA had a joke where the titular character (a no-nonsense sensible feminist frump) was watching a romance film on TV. (Male lead) "Why are you trembling, lass. I am a kind man, beloved by my servants and animals." (Sylvia) "So, go kiss a falcon."

  2. Ouch! The "proper authorities" can go pound sand, imo, but this guy is still a breathtaking illustration of the depth and breadth of human stupidity. Honestly…it's a frigging RAPTOR you dumb b*st*rd! It isn't interested in snuggle time!

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