Now and again, some new item of clothing makes me do a double-take. (No, I am not a fan or a follower of fashion!) The most recent example are these.
Yes, they’re lace shorts. For men. (Or, rather, for what are allegedly men.) A news report says:
The lacey shorts … are available in five pastel colors including green, pink, blue, purple and yellow…
Lace shorts first hit the runway at Gucci’s Spring/Summer 2016 collection and would appeal to fashion-forward men who are looking to make a statement. The prominence of gender ambiguity in fashion design allows for clothing pieces to be reflective of a generation who wish to challenge traditional notion of masculinity and femininity.
There’s more at the link.
And my dream? My dream is to see the Drill Instructors at Parris Island or MCRD San Diego standing by to receive the new intake of Marine Corps recruits. They do their usual thing of getting them off the bus,
harassing demoralizing unnerving conditioning them, and then tell them to take off their civilian clothing, all of it, and put on what the Corps has just issued to them. Can you imagine the D.I.’s faces when one or more of their recruits drops trousers to reveal . . . these?
The mental picture of the cardiac emergency unit at the local hospital, as dozens of D.I.’s are admitted, twitching, writhing and foaming at the mouth, all yelling at the tops of their lungs, in unexpurgated Marine Corps vernacular, about how the Old Corps has finally gone to the dogs, is just too delicious.
AHHHHH! MY EYES! Even worse, my mind.
Thank you for adding to my nightmares. I am only half joking.
I have bad news. I see belt loops. I think those are intended as outerwear.
Of course if they were WOMEN’s shorts, I would be doing a Tex-Avery Wolf imitation…..
Yup. Outerwear. *Sigh*
The DIs would raise their eyes to Heaven and invoke the Venerable LTG Chesty Puller, from where he commands the constabulary voice. A wave of his hand and the offensive wear vanishes in a flash of fire, perhaps with everything else the wearer doesn't really need.
Wouldn't happen like that.
They'd make a mental note, and then PT the offender(s) to death during the course of training.
Motto: "No one ever drowned in sweat."
DI: "Hold my beer."
I must now cleanse my eyeballs with battery acid.
OMG NO! Just, no.
But then it's from Gucci, pronounced (by me, at least) as 'Guck-y' so it makes at least a smidgen of an iota of sense . . .
I'm with Aesop. I don't think it would be the DIs getting admitted to the hospital. I think the DIs would be fine.
If there's anything left of the recruits, they would be the ones in the ER.
That woman sure has a lot of body hair…..Oh, Wait!