“Peter Rabbit, Tank Killer”

Yesterday I mentioned a tongue-in-cheek article analyzing the military lessons that can be learned from Kenneth Grahame’s children’s novel, ‘The Wind in the Willows’.  A couple of e-mailed comments noted that someone had produced a ‘spoof’ version of a Beatrix Potter story about Peter Rabbit, linking it with the novels of Sven Hassel.  The story was titled ‘Peter Rabbit, Tank Killer‘.  Here’s a brief excerpt.

    One day, Peter’s mother said, “I am going to market to sell my mittens.
    “You may all play in the wood if you wish but, Peter, you and your naughty cousin Benjamin Bunny are not to antagonise Mr McGregor nor blow up any Panzer tanks today.”
    And with that, she left in a swish-swosh-swish of rustling skirts.
    But oh! That Peter was a a naughty rabbit!
    No sooner had his mother left than he dressed for combat and hopped down to the end of the lane to rendezvous with his cousin Benjamin.
    As the two young rabbits exchanged their fulsome greetings, they suddenly became aware of a mighty a-clinking and a-clanking coming up the road!
    Their little hearts all a-flutter, they peered judiciously around the corner.
    And what do you think the two naughty young rabbits saw when they peeped out?
    Mr McGregor in a Mk II Tiger tank with traversable 88mm howitzer and two forward mounted 7.62mm machine guns!

There’s more at the link, including illustrations patterned after the originals.  Great fun!

(For readers who may not have heard of him, the late Sven Hassel was denounced as a fraud over his claims of service in the German armed forces during World War II.  Nevertheless, his novels remained popular for many years.)



  1. You know, the guy denouncing Hassel was the "journalist" Erik Haaest which also denied the existence of concentration camps and said that Anne Frank's journal was a forgery…
    Since Hassel's past doesn't seem to pass scrutiny, but his main critic looks equally dubious, I've just tried do look at the books and ignore the author and the critics. And the books are pretty harsh anti-war manifesto as far as I can tell.

  2. The books by Sven Hassel are pure fiction. Hassel is a fraud, and a traitorous nazi collaborator to boot.

    R.A. Frank

  3. Anonymous @ 11:17, and then John, beat me to it. I believe they used the 7.92x57mm, same as my beloved M48 (Mauser, that is–alas, I do not own a Patton tank).
    –Tennessee Budd

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