Some of you may be aware of the outstanding letter of complaint recently written to Richard Branson, head honcho of Virgin Atlantic Airlines. It’s become something of a viral Internet phenomenon.
The full text may be found here. A few extracts:
Look at this Richard. Just look at it.
I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?
You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:
I know it looks like a baaji but it’s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you’ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn’t custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It’s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.
. . .
I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation.
It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs.
Brilliant! Snarky, sarcastic, and telling.
There’s a sequel. According to the Telegraph:
Oliver Beale, a high-flying advertising executive, has been revealed as the author of a complaint letter to Virgin Atlantic which has been hailed as the greatest of its kind.
The missive – in which Mr Beale described in detail his “culinary journey of hell” – has since become an internet sensation and has been emailed around the world.
Mr Beale works as an art director at award-winning advertising agency WCRS in London.
He refuted suggestions that the letter was an advertising stunt and said it was a genuine complaint at the state of his meal.
Sir Richard later telephoned him personally to apologise and invited him to select the food and wines for future Virgin flights.
Mr Beale said: “He was incredibly nice about the whole thing but I haven’t received any compensation since talking to him.”
Full marks to Mr. Branson for taking the letter seriously. It’s gotten such wide exposure over the Internet that his response is likely to score major brownie points for Virgin Atlantic.
Why can’t all corporate executives be that way?
Peter