A whole passel of Doofi!

I don’t think I can confer ‘Doofus Of The Day’ awards on so many entries simultaneously, but I think many of these folks would qualify!  The Vine, an Australian Web site, has published a pictorial list of 28 Hilarious Police Reports, culled from newspaper columns all over the world.  Here are a few to whet your appetite.

  • Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can.  Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito.
  • A woman called police when she found an upside down turtle on her front lawn at 11 a.m. June 1.  The officer told her to turn the turtle right side up.  She did but called back to report that the turtle had no arms, legs or a head.  The officer told her not to worry, and the turtle fled in an unknown direction before police arrived.
  • During a disturbance call a man gave an officer a false name and was arrested after he was found to have warrants for both names.
  • 10:05 p.m. Police received a call from a woman who said her juvenile granddaughter was at the ski area last week and ran into a person who was selling bags of what she thought were portobello mushrooms dipped in chocolate for $30.  Police said the granddaughter further informed her grandmother that giraffes were chasing her down the hill after she ate the mushrooms.
  • A man called Erie police at about 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, March 7, to report a suspicious peanut in his back yard.
  • 10:10 p.m.:  Suspicious people were reportedly doing something with flashlights by the side of North 5th Street in Custer.  A deputy checked and found the people were not suspicious, but merely Canadians.

There are many more at the link.  Hilarious indeed!



  1. Years ago, I had some friends that ventured, found and consumed some mushrooms that would alter their minds.

    After a short period of finding Nirvana, the one toadstool left them retching, and a few with a visit to the hospital.

    After they described their experience, I think all would have relished being chased by giraffes.

  2. I'm not sure I'm with you on your Latin there, BRM, I believe that would be Doofus… (with that little hat over the second u which makes it plural, given that Doofus is masculine ;->), but it has been a long time since I was in Mrs. Reynolds Latin class.

    Fair Winds,

    Cap'n Jan
    (Who is more than willing to be wrong about the Latin, her knuckles have been rapped before!)

  3. Once, a woman came into my police station to report a murder. Not just any murder – it was the murder of herself that she wanted to report!

    That was an interesting conversation.

    (And no, she wasn't psychotic. She was involved in an ugly custody fight with her violent ex-husband and had a habit of reporting and embellishing everything he did to her. She did not think this one through.)

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