Cunning little critters, aren’t they?


We’ve met Dr. Grumpy in these pages several times before.  He’s a neurologist who writes – often very amusingly – about his patients and his medical practice.

His wife is a school nurse.  She reports that the kids are finding a novel use for a winter warming device.

As you know, me and a handful of teachers have been assigned to screen you little darlings for fevers each morning, pointing that laser scanner at your forehead before you go inside.

It certainly alarmed us when we found large numbers of you were running fevers when you got off the bus. Not just fevers, actually, but temperatures in the 120 degree range. Which are, quite frankly, incompatible with human life.

Fortunately, Maxine, the lady who’s been driving school buses since they were pulled by horses, called me onto the bus to see the discarded hand warmers from the camping supply store, which you frauds adorable children had been pressing to your foreheads and passing around.

As always, nice try. Now go to class.

There’s more at the link.

If only they’d apply the same ingenuity and effort to their school work . . .




  1. C'mon Peter, you never played sick at home and while mom was not looking, placed the bulb of the thermometer against the nightstand lightbulb? 🙂

  2. Ferris Beuller's advice still applies: go for licking your palms.
    Clammy equals sick.
    A fever gets you a trip to the doctor's office, which is worse than school.

    Don't ask me how I know firsthand that sipping hot water before going in to get a doctor's note for a missing a college midterm almost gets you an ICU admission for sepsis.


  3. At least the windshield of the bus wasn't covered in spit balls. Not that I would know where the rubber bands/hair ties and paper came from.

    And the 'little darlings' would apply same ingenuity to their school work if the school work was a challenge.

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