Doofus Of The Day #582

Today’s winner is from Connecticut.

A man shopping at an adult novelty store in Orange became stuck in a pair of handcuffs for nearly an hour Thursday afternoon.

. . .

VIP employees tried the keys that came with the love-cuffs, but with no luck. Arriving officers tried their own handcuff keys, but those didn’t work either.

If that wasn’t enough for the man, officers decided to bring him to police headquarters to attempt to remove the handcuffs there. Police did not have to use lubricant, but instead used bolt cutters to free the man.

. . .

VIP stores are known for selling sexually-oriented adult items from lotions to x-rated videos.

There’s more at the link.

I must admit, I have no idea why they refer to such stores as adult shops. They appear to me to be juvenile in the extreme – just like little kids playing “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”. There’s nothing adult about them whatsoever!

Nevertheless, I had to laugh at this report, because it reminded me of the LFI-2 course with Massad Ayoob back in 2002. (I highly recommend and unreservedly endorse his training courses, by the way – I’ve attended three of them. His blog is also worth reading.) Students were required to bring handcuffs with them, to practice securing a suspect while assisting responding officers. Most of us duly bought, and brought with us, police-style handcuffs . . . but one young lady brought handcuffs lined with pink-dyed faux fur (something like the pair shown below).

The rest of us waited with bated breath while Mas stood at her table, holding the pink cuffs in his hand, saying nothing for at least thirty seconds. He was clearly having some difficulty controlling himself – his lips were quivering. At last he exhaled, drew a deep breath, looked at her, and said slowly, in a very controlled voice, “You didn’t buy these at the police supply store, did you?” She blushed crimson as the rest of the class collapsed in hysterics . . .



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