Courtesy of a link provided by Australian reader Snoggeramus, we learn of several bumbling nitwits of the Australian underworld. Here’s just one example.
Michael Pestano was known in criminal circles as “No Thumbs” Pestano due to his missing appendages, the absence of which no one has ever satisfactorily explained.
One of his associates once remarked that No Thumbs had “heavied a lot of people”, especially with threats to stab them with a dirty syringe, but all up “he was a lovely bloke”.
But in this line of work being a “lovely” enforcer is not enough.
In 2004 Pestano travelled to a farm near the central western town of Wellington to do a standover job. Accompanying him were Ron Howell, a Wellington local who was on crutches owing to a recent hip replacement; Frank Croker, who was up from Tasmania to lend Ron a hand with his bad hip, as well as Pestano’s son Jason and Brien Randall-Smith, who had a lengthy record robbery, breaking and entering and stealing.
In order to force out the occupants of a farm, Pestano cut off their water supply, disconnected the power, cut down the fences, banged on the walls of the house and, after revving a chainsaw, claimed the occupants of the house would be cut up.
But it all went awry in the darkness when a can of beer exploded in the fire Pestano had made with the fence posts.
Believing they were under fire, the occupants of the house came out guns blazing.
By night’s end Pestano was dead, Ron Howell had a shotgun wound to the left buttock to add to his dodgy hip and his mate Frank had also been injured.
There’s more at the link.
Funny, with a touch of schadenfreude to add zest to your enjoyment! I suspect most of the felons mentioned would qualify for multiple Doofus awards.