Stephan Pastis offers this suggestion (click the image to be taken to the cartoon’s Web page for a larger view).
Reminds me of the first entry in Howard Tayler’s “The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries“: pillage, then burn. That would also help to take care of your debt – although those from whom you pillage might have different views!
Peter
The opinions of the pillagees are of no concern to the pillagers.
Speaking of which, here is a variant song for birthdays. It's the birthday dirge, sung to the tune of The Volga Boatmen.
Happy Birthday. (pound on table)
It's your Birthday. (pound on table)
Gloom and doom and dark despair
People dying everywhere
Happy Birthday. (pound on table)
It's your Birthday. (pound on table)
* repeat *
Here's a lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn
Hear the women wail and weep
Kill them all, but spare the sheep
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as death draws near
I always sang that version as "Misery, gloom despair/ People dying everywhere…"
LittleRed1
And hundreds more. One of my favirites is "may your deeds with sword and ax equal those with sheep and yaks"
Search for "Ghengis Khan birthday dirge"
JPDev