Translating from Californian to Texan

The Federalist Papers has a wonderful guide to translate Californian terms to what they mean in Texas.  For example:

CALIFORNIA:  “Arsenal of weapons”
TEXAS:  “Gun collection”

CALIFORNIA:  “Assault and battery”
TEXAS:  “Attitude adjustment”

CALIFORNIA:  “Multicultural community”
TEXAS:  “High crime area”

CALIFORNIA:  “Investment for the future”
TEXAS:  “Higher taxes”

CALIFORNIA:  “Exploiters or ‘The Rich’ “
TEXAS:  “Employed or Land Owner”

There are more at the link.  Good for a laugh, if you’re a Texan (as Miss D. and I now are, by voting with our feet).  Liable to cause the political equivalent of PMS if you’re a liberal Californian!



  1. Hey Peter, have you heard about the latest Darwin Award candidate that tried to drum up some more YouTube subscribers by stopping a bullet with a book? Held in front of his chest… Fired from a rather large pistol. The mind boggled when I read it this morning and continues to boggle.

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